Rankled by Rankers
Rankers, it seems, are starting to irritate me. By my definition a ranker is a low form of parasite that attempts to ride the internet surf with complete disregard for those who are simply wishing to use the internet for the furtherment of that ultimate goal of intellectual understanding.
To my newly found shame, several of my office colleagues have recently become rankers. They are not the "in you face" kind of ranker - which to be frank is a relief on an unfathomable scale. Instead they are more of the sublter and quieter persuasion that almost hide their ranker-like qualities completely behind devious facades - weaving a clever web of deceit to appear to be genuinely unaware of their very own rankerness.
All that I can do is beg, nay demand, to rankers everywhere to reconsider your evil rankering ways and put a stop to this perverted subversion of internet traffic.
You know who you are. Don't make me shame your very existence.
To my newly found shame, several of my office colleagues have recently become rankers. They are not the "in you face" kind of ranker - which to be frank is a relief on an unfathomable scale. Instead they are more of the sublter and quieter persuasion that almost hide their ranker-like qualities completely behind devious facades - weaving a clever web of deceit to appear to be genuinely unaware of their very own rankerness.
All that I can do is beg, nay demand, to rankers everywhere to reconsider your evil rankering ways and put a stop to this perverted subversion of internet traffic.
You know who you are. Don't make me shame your very existence.
posted by ugli-stix at 19.6.06
7 Comments:
Wtf is a ranker?
I mean, even your definition is completely un-enlightening...
I meant to be vague. But rest assured - you are a ranker.
Good. Is it someone who tries to get hits to their website? Then of course I am. Anyone who isn't, and writes a blog, is just being stupid. Why write it if you want no one to read it? Why do you write yours?
I write mine to vent frustration and to generally amuse myself. For someone who tried their hardest to remove any evidence of their blog from search engines you seem rather concerned with other people reading your blog!
Generally speaking a "in you face" ranker is the kind of person/company that purposely puts lots of keywords on their site to improve their ranking in search engines. They are also people who have those self generated search engine web pages that make you think you've found what you're looking for in google.
A subtle ranker - like you, Mr. Journeyman, etc. - tends to put random and little known comments or phrases on their blog/site so that they can increase their ranking... such as Z-list celebrities that no-one cares about. The reason its annoying is that a genuine searcher of such a celebrity would end up on your blogs, and find little or no real information.
Or maybe we have an interest in little known things and z-list celebrities...
They (and I as I confess to doing it too) are doing something very different as we write genuine content.
The "pro" rankers write blogs to get hits to convert to ad clicks or whatever. We write content to amuse ourselves/friends and if we choose some words in the hope it may reach a wider audience, then what's wrong with that?
Anyway, I suspect you are simply trying to get hits from people searching for rankers in the context of blogging. Why else would you write this post ;)
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